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Over-the-top Marketing on Memory Foam Pillow

Tuesday November 11, 2008 @ 2:35 AM EST

The marketing department over at Sleep Innovations went a little over the top on marketing for their pillow box. If we took their marketing material as fact, here is some information about the pillow:

  • Pillow is made for bed sleep. Will not work for any other type of sleep.
  • This will work for any sleeper, counter to the previous statement. Even Elephants.
  • This pillow is made of ejected black-hole core material. It is of the highest density.
  • You would be unable to find a pillow with better support. This pillow has better support than a custom made pillow.
  • It would be impossible to find a pillow that provided more comfort. This pillow provides maximum comfort.
  • This pillow's style is of maximum quantities. Not a single designer could design a pillow with better style. This pillow is of such high style that every single human being would agree, this is the best looking pillow.
  • Due to the ultimate nature of this pillow's support, comfort, and style, it will allow you to achieve the ultimate sleep experience. For you, this experience might be the most horrific nightmare, however this experience would remain unsurpassed.
  • This pillow was custom shaped for you. This personalized shape just so happens to not only be the best for you, but for every other sleeper in the universe.
  • The support provided by this pillow is therapeutic in nature. It will cure any disease.
  • The cover this pillow has been wrapped in adds a squishy grace that no other pillow can provide.
  • People within the United States have received deep pleasure when they exercised skill when making this pillow. However the Premium Cover was slave-labor produced in China.
  • The company responsible for designing and manufacturing this pillow has come up with new and original designs related to sleep. The other 106 billion [citation] had not yet thought of these designs.

Bullshit highlighted in pink!